waiting for chaos…

Things are good. Really good. The sponsor breakup went smoothly, no bridges burned. I am excited about my new sponsor who is such a happy, positive woman, so excited about sobriety. I find her 12th step work admirable and I look forward to working with her and learning from her. This is a new chapter in my sobriety, and I’m looking forward to it.

My boyfriend is the sweetest man alive. He’s dorky and goofy and adorable and treats me better than I thought possible. I’m fighting demons of the past, still hurting over a broken marriage even though we’ve both moved on and we’re both better off. We are. We truly are. But sometimes it’s hard to accept the truth. I need to pray for acceptance rather than understanding.

My children are fun and adorable. Whiny and annoying, of course, such is the way of the small child, but I’m getting more creative and active in my parenting, finding more fun things for us to do together that don’t cost much money, that make us all happy and content and enjoying of our time together.

Being a parent, being in a relationship and staying sober aren’t easy things to do. They are hard. They present challenges. But I’m pulling it off, one day at a time. That chaos I’m waiting for may arrive at any moment, but there’s no point in anticipating things going south. I’m striving to enjoy the present.

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