Loss

One of Martin’s best friends relapsed and died last week. He relapsed and was dead 12 hours later. It’s the sick sick part of this disease – it’s there, waiting to get us anytime.

I’ve been talking to Martin about it a lot, and it’s bringing up a lot of things for me, like what a mess I was when my sister died… and then when my other sister died and I was so deep in alcoholism I skipped the funeral for a reunion of college drinking buddies.

I don’t have to be like that anymore. Thank God I haven’t lost anyone since I got sober, but thank God if I do I AM sober and I can deal with it in a healthy way. I’ve been able to stand by Martin, to offer him my love and support, and that’s not something I knew how to do before. I even managed to make other people’s grief all about me.

I know how to be a friend today.

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